I Don't Think Vegas is Ready for Me...Do You????

OK bitches, guess what yesterday was? Wait, you'll never guess and I don't have that kind of time.

I TURNED THE BIG 4-0!!! Yay, forty years young.

Now, one would think that by the time I hit this ripe old age I'd perhaps have matured a little. I am pleased to inform you that it doesn't seem to have happened as of yet. Perhaps when I hit fifty I'll have learned to act my age, but I somehow doubt it.

The birthday was pretty low key. I read a little, baked a little, did as little housework as possible, and basically scammed family members into rubbing my sore shoulders as often as I could. (What can I say..we just have two feet of snow dumped on us and shovelling sucks ass.) Anyway, I have to take it easy for the next nine days and conserve my energy....because next Wednesday WE'RE GOING TO VEGAS!! YEAH, BABY!

Me and the Hubby are headed away to this Love Nest in the desert for five days of gambling, debauchery and good clean dirty fun. Sounds like the perfect way to usher in my forties, don't you think??

We're staying at the Palazzo Resort, which comes equipped with three televisions in every room, not that we're going to be doing too much hanging out in the room. What's the fun in that? I'll be downstairs in the Casino copping free drinks and pissing in my diaper as I play the slots. Sure, we'll wander into the buffet now and again too. A girl has to keep up her energy if she plans to both frighten and entertain her long-suffering husband.

In preparation for the trip, I made an effort to render myself unrecognizable....How do you think I look as a redhead with a porn star quality moustache???

I really need to be unrecognizable, as an arrest would really put a crimp in my daily schedule of personal debasement.

Now, this trip is going to have to be enjoyed On the Cheap as I am poor. (Most of the expenses are being convered by a Third Party who Shall Remain Anonymous, otherwise known as my Hubby's company.) So, if anyone has any suggestions for cheap eats and cheap thrills, hook me up! And if there happens to be a reader out there just overflowing with cash that needs to rid themselves of some of it, feel free to send it my way, cuz I'd really like to renew my wedding vows in a stretch Hummer while driving up and down the Strip, officiated by an Elvis impersonator. (No, really, I would like to do this. I just need the dough.)

I'll be taking my laptop with me to Vegas so's I can blog about all the adventures we'll be having there. Any Vegas businesses want to invite me over and entertain me? Email me, bitches.