On Day Three, I want to Rip My Arms off and Beat My Husband Over the Head with Them...

Yesterday, my husband pissed me off. (Sorry Hun, but you know it's true.) It started with breakfast. Nothing we had seemed to please him, and he stomped around the kitchen with a perma-pout. He didn't want gluten free toast, he didn't want Cream of Rice cereal (too much like gruel, he claims) and he didn't want waffles. He ended up eating Thai Kitchen curry noodles (weird, but he likes shit like that in the AM) but proclaimed them "bland." Then, he moved on to a bowl of gluten-free Cheerio imposters....

He ate a whole bowl of them, put down his spoon and then stated, "Well, I'll never do THAT again." Oh, that was sooooo helpful, my dear.

Clearly he was just sour at not being to choose from his usual plethora of breakfast foods. I'll also have to blame detox irritability, because otherwise he was just being a jerk. I then tried these Whole-O's, as did my son, and I have to say that they pretty damn good. They even stay super crunchy in milk. A very acceptable substitute, methinks.

I casually mentioned that we were having pasta for supper, and he made a face that looked like a cross between constipation and getting a flu shot. When I insisted that he explain his sour look, he announced that he was quite certain that the gluten-free pasta I bought would taste like shit. I then forced to go to work before I killed him stone dead right in the middle of my kitchen mat.

As it turned out, he mellowed as the day went on, and also, he was wrong about the pasta. We all agreed that it was very good.

I meant to take a picture of the entire meal but we were all so damn hungry (and in a deep philosophical discussion about what to wear for Hallowe'en) that I plumb forgot. You'll get over it.

Yesterday I also regret to report that I experienced a colossal failure in the kitchen. I attempted to make the French Bread recipe from The Gluten-Free Gourmet Bakes Bread. I followed the recipe exactly, except for the fact that I left out the gelatin and subbed a flax seed "egg" for the two egg whites the recipe called for. Should have been OK, right?

WRONG.

This bread has the consistency of a tubular beige cinder block. I could probably keep these around the house for a while in case I need to beat off an intruder. And see the little white spot on the corner where I tore of a taste-test nibble? It tastes about as yummy as a goat's ballsac. Absolutely vile. Sour, with a weird aftertaste that for some reason makes me think of those disinfectant cakes in public urinals.

So, no more of that book for me. I think I'll look elsewhere for some simpler recipes.

Also, the rash on my arms has gotten worse. Itchy as a bitch and gross looking too. I've racked my brain to come up with might be causing it, other than a detox reaction, but I'm coming up with nada. I'm using the same soaps, same cleaning products, and I'm not baking with anything I haven't baked with before. I'm baffled. I popped one of my husband's allergy pills this morning in an attempt to get some relief, because scratching it is definitely not making it better. Any suggestions??

Today, I think I may just attempt some brownies. And also attempt to fine someone to give me a decent haircut for a change. Wish me luck...

Peace!