On Day Four, I Have my WTF !!??? Moment....

I can officially tell you all that the glow is beginning to wear off this little experiment of mine. I have a fair bit of ego when it comes to my fab-you-less baking skills (I learned from the best, eh Mom?) but it seems that getting the hang of this gluten-free baking thing is harder (not to mention pricier) than I ever expected.

Yesterday, I was in the mood for something sweet, and I had found what appeared to be a fabulously easy recipe for gluten-free chocolate brownies. Sure, the recipe required eggs, but I've been working around that little issue for years. I figured if I went with flax "eggs" instead I'd be good to go. And since I was already feeling so clever, I also had the idea to make the brownies in my mini-muffin pan and make them "two-bite" brownies.

The batter certainly looked perfect....

It was supposed to take 30 minutes to bake, but I set the timer for fifteen minutes instead, just to check up on my little fudgy babies. I went about my business, and when I heard the bell ding and returned to the oven, WTF???? THIS is what I found:

All eighteen of my brownies-to-be ejaculated out of their muffin tins and flooded the entire pan (and my oven too, of course) with hot molten chocolate lava. As soon as the pan hit the cool air, it started to immediately solidify into something resembling a cross between Laffy Taffy and concrete. As I type this, the whole damn pan is out of my veranda in a giant bucket full of water, as I attempt to loosen this godforsaken slop off my brand- new pan. Later, I get to experience even more thrills as I scrub this shit off the bottom of my oven.

Talk about dejected. That seemed to be the perfect time to help myself to a little treat I'd been saving for just such a low moment: Gluten-Free beer!

It's called Glutaner, and it's made from sorghum, whatever the hell that is. (The word "sorghum" for some reason makes me thinks of greasy fat guys in overalls driving battered pick up trucks. No idea why....) I had been excited for a couple of days to give these puppies a try, because if I ever were to be diagnosed with celiac disease, I think I would miss beer the most.

So I popped open a cold one and gave it a whirl. According to The Beer Advocate website, this beer gives a " Fair hint of apple cider on the nose with an unpleasant sour, almost meaty character hidden at the back. Fairly sweet with not much hoppiness, also fairly weak."

Another dude states that Glutaner "Smell is grainy and somewhat oily, it reminds me of a rye beer. There is a herbal and spicy smell which is probably due to the grains which make the beer smell pretty fresh and inviting. Taste is cider-like with all of it's characteristics, dry, slightly tart with apple notes and grape-like dryness. There is some oiliness of the grains. I find the body to be too light, even for a pilsener. Aftertaste is dry and stops after swallowing. "

And me: I just thought it tasted like beer. Clearly, I will not be embarking on a second career as a beer taster.

Supper was delicious, though, so at least the day ended on a high note. We had oven baked potatoes, vegetables, and some tofu wingz, breaded with rice flour, cornstarch and cornmeal. Delish.

Alas, I will not be able to update again until Sunday night, as I am headed to CFB Shearwater for the last weekend in the course I've been taking to be promoted to a Lieutenant. There's supposed to be a big party tomorrow night, plus I'll be eating in the Officer's Mess, which has a very limited menu and seems to be averse to vegetarians. Mostly I've been eating french fries and peanut butter sandwiches. We'll see how the gluten-free thing works out for me. I'm notoriously weak in these kinds of situations, so I'll see you all Sunday and fill you in. In the meantime, have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Peace!