A Mess o' Miscellany

Well, I just spent the last three days working with the Army Cadets on a mountain biking-slash-canoeing expedition. I was a highly-functioning, highly fragrant "Supply Officer", which translates into "sit in the safety truck mainling Doritos and Diet Coke while driving five miles an hour behind a herd of tired and filthy teenagers, most of whom would donate their left nut to be able to crawl into the back of the truck and die." Nuff said.

Ok, my job really was gruelling in it's own way. I may not have biked forty miles through the mud, but I did have to schlep what seems like a half-ton of bikes, backpacks, tents, and other assorted outdoor parephenalia in and out of the truck and around in circles throughout our campsite. I felt a bit like like Super Mario for some reason, only older and with a hell of a lot more cellulite.

My daughter happened to be one of the filthy cyclers, and here is a shot of her at lunch break letting me know that she was down with the torture. She led the pack most of the trip. Doesn't she look cute while dirty? Take that up the rosy red rectum, all you buttholes who don't think veg*ns have any energy!

I managed to drag the two of us out of the woods last night and immediately collapsed on the sofa with a beer, and then promptly fell asleep at the ridiculous hour of 8:15 PM, a new record even for a morning person like me. I have a feeling that by the time I'm 60 I'll be scheduling my bedtime ten minutes after supper, (and based on my experience with the elderly, that will fall right around three PM.)

So, on this glorious Monday morning, I awoke at 5:30 AM feeling rested, perky, and heck, I'll say it, a little horny too. Hubby won't be home for another day and I was wishing I could have thrown him on the floor and had my way with him. (I hope when he gets home he's up for the task...I may just damage something vital trying to get to his bits and pieces...)

So, I'm just out of the shower this morning and feeling all clean and dewy when this big honkin' truck backs into my yard. At first I thought he was just trying to turn around in the driveway, but then a smokin' hot delivery guy in short pants (that highlighted his hairy knees gorgeously) knocks on my door and delivers a mysterious package....A package I wasn't expecting.

And then, the brain fog cleared and I remembered what it was. I think I'll wait a few days to fill you in on the details. Needless to say, I was very excited and this has something to do with my new nutrition business. Tune in soon for all the gory details...

Peace!