Mother in Law Prep, Phallic Bread, and some Vegan Sausage and Potato Empanadas

So, it's Tuesday night, and I've just finished three hours of pre-Mother in Law preparation.

See, while hubby and I are sunning our backsides in Orlando, Grandma and Grandma will be occupying our home, making sure the rugrats don't turn to a life of crime in our absence.

I sooooo appreciate it, truly, and the kids are excited to have their Grandparents visit. (Not as excited as they would be if they were flying to Florida, but, well.....life sucks when you are a kid, I guess...)

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The problem is, me and Ma in Law disagree when it comes to housekeeping. (She waxes her vacuum cleaner.) I work full time and cook from scratch, take Distance Ed and garden like a maniac. I tend to have, shall we say, slightly flexible standards about certain household chores.

Anyway, pretty much every time she visits, she comments on something different:

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"Tracy, how the hell can you ever find anything in your fridge? Why can't you have all your pickles in one place? Why are your jams all on different shelves?"

"Tracy, do you realize that there are huge cobwebs floating in the corner of your hallway Don't you see tham hanging there?"

"Tracy, there is something splattered on the wall behind your garbage can. Looks like someone chucked something over there and had bad aim. Didn't you see that?"

~Sigh.~

So, I have spent my evening lining up the canned beans and tomato soup in my pantry, throwing out all the dishcloths with holes in them, and refolding all my fitted sheets.

~Sigh~

Let's get to the weekend cooking, Part Deux. My Focus: Tofurky Italian Sausage. I muy loves these things, and I don't mean sexually, (even though they have admirable girth.)

I set out to make a spicy trailer-trash version of Empanadas using this sausage. I decided on a sausage and potato filling. Recipe to follow at the end of this post....

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I started with one sausage, diced, which is all I really needed use due to the aforementioned girth. (That's a real mouthful there, boys and girls.....)

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After frying with onion and other stuff, I whipped it into potatoes...

...made the dough and filled it....I cooked these on a baking stone.

After baking, I served these with pizza sauce for dipping.

But, OH MY GOD, I had some LEFTOVER FILLING!!!!!! (I think it's because I still have tons of potatoes starting to sprout in my root cellar than I'm unconsciously cooking too many, in an attempt to get rid of them....)

Ok, here's the tip 'o the week, everyone: There are very few dribs and drabs from cooking that can't be used to improve something else. You can always incorporate your leftovers into soup, casseroles, or bread. Mashed potatoes, even with sausage and onion added, are no exception. I put the leftover taters into the Magic Bullet....

I added some warm water and blended the crap out of it, then added it to the water and yeast mixture from my soon-to-be bread dough. Hot damn, potatoes add incredible taste and texture to bread, and the smell and flavour that the onion, sausage and spices added was panty-moistening. Seriously. Ok, you got me, my panties were dry but I was still very impressed.

I wish I had Smell-o-Vision on this blog as you gaze at these rolls......

Considering how excited this bread made me, it's really no wonder that I felt the need to make a giant Bread Pecker to commemorate the occasion.

OK, so technically this is supposed to be a tube of heart-shaped bread, but it looks damn phallic to me. Thoughts?

Three Sleeps to Florida...check back with you before then.

Peace and Peckers, Yeah Baybee!......

And fiinally, here is the recipe for the Potato and Sausage Empanadas:

Italian Sausage and Potato Empanadas!

Filling:

In a frying pan, add 1 Tbsp oil, preferably olive. Add ½ medium onion, diced fine. Sauté for a few minutes until onion is softened. Add 1 Tofurky Italian sausage, diced fine. Sauté a few minutes more. Add a few tablespoons of water near the end and deglaze then pan.

At the same time, peel and chop 2 large potatoes, and boil until soft in salted water. When done, mash and then use your beaters to add:
½ tsp salt
½ tsp Italian seasoning
2 tsp Vegan Rice Parmesan
½ tsp Mrs. Dash Extra Spicy (or black pepper if you don’t have it.)
2 Tsp margarine
1 Tbsp soy sour cream (If you don’t have this, add 2 more tsp margarine)
¼ cup rice or soy milk

Beat until smooth. Then add sausage and onion mixture, and beat again until well combined.

Empanada Dough

In a bowl, add:
2 cups flour
1 tsp salt
½ tsp Mrs. Dash Extra Spicy) or black pepper
1 Tbsp Rice Parm

Cut in ½ cup vegetable shortening until crumbly. Then add 2/3 cup ice cold water, a little at a time, until you have a smooth ball of dough.

For large empanadas, divide the dough into twelve pieces and roll each piece out fairly round. If you like them smaller, this recipe will make more.

Place a spoonful of filling in the center of the dough. Wet the edges of the circle with water, fold over, and use a fork to press the edges closed.

Preheat over to 425. I find these bake best on a baking stone, but if you are using metal pans, you might want to cover them with parchment paper.

Bake at 425 for about thirteen to fifteen minutes. I spray mine with a mist of oil when they are still hot from the oven.