Yesterday, I channelled Martha Stewart. Last Night, it was Larry Craig

Some days, my ability to be inappropriately juvenile and excessively immature know no bounds. Last night was just such an occasion.

Although I really don't follow the trials and tribulations of American politics (except for what I pick up from The Daily Show) I couldn't help but be entertained by the whole "Larry Craig" in the bathroom stall business. About how he was guilty, and then not guilty. I say, if you want to pick up a hottie for a little hot and dirty monkey love, whether you are gay or straight, you should do it the way generations of your forefathers have done it: Pick them up in a bar. Hey, it worked for me! I manged to pick up a whole husband in one.

SO anyway, I couldn't help but snicker when I saw this article concerning a recipe submitted by the Honourable Larry to the Congress Cooks! website: The Super Tuber. This guy actually submitted a recipe based almost exclusively on jamming a wiener in a hole.

As soon as I saw this little gem, I knew I had to try it. And what a sensual experience it turned out to be. I had to squeegee the steam off the kitchen windows by the time I was done.

First, you use an apple corer to hollow out your spuds.... and since I was in a rush, I used the microwave as some foreplay and pre-cooked these babies for ten titillating minutes.

The next step involved the insertion. This is the part where it got pretty erotic. Those weenies had to be lubed up pretty good, or they wouldn't slide in the potato properly. Those tube steaks got pretty greasy, and I had to grip them hard to keep them from slipping away. A few times I almost got one stuck, so I just piled on some more oil and wiggled it in. I was breathing pretty hard by the time I pounded them home.

(This shot of the end of the weenie peeking out the end of the spud reminds me of something, but I can't quite wrap my brain around it. I think it's something dirty though. )

It turns out that the dogs were a little to big, lengthwise, to fit in the hole. (A fairly common occurrence, in my experience.) They were OK girthwise, with a little sweat and effort.

Well, I had to cut the ends off the weenies to make for a tight fit, but I felt their pain, I assure you. Then I greased the skin of these tubers until they were shiny and wet, wrapped these puppies up tight in foil, and pounded them into a hot oven for 40 minutes.

SO, what do you eat with a Super Tuber? Clearly, high-end side dishes were not going to work here. So I took a cue from my lopped-off weenie ends and made a pot of beanies and weenies. I also used my "spud plugs" to make little round fries. (Waste not, want not!)

And for some sick reason, looking at my Super Tuber made me crave cream corn, so I warmed up a can. (Hmmm....creamed corn....I wonder what Freud would say about that?)

I was so hot and bothered by the time supper hit the table, I needed something to cool me down, so a nice icy garden salad did just the trick.

And that was supper. Excuse me while I go light up a cigarette. Yes, I know I don't actually smoke, but it somehow seems like the thing to do right now.

Have a Sexy Tuesday, everyone!

PS: The best quote of the evening was from my husband: "Don't ever do this to a potato ever again. Period."

Peace!